“A lot of the people I’ve played the new songs to have said ‘I did not expect that’,” smiles Jesy Nelson. “I think people think I’m going to start with a ballad.”
What Boyz, Nelson’s head-knocking, Diddy-sampling, 90s R&B banger of a solo debut single is most definitely not is a ballad. This isn’t some teaser-y, tastemaker-y, ‘for the blogs’ testing of the water. This is a marker for the future. Created alongside producers Loose Change in a flurry of studio-based activity following Nelson’s departure from Brit award-winning girlband Little Mix last December, it’s the all-caps, no messing about first taste of what’s to come from an artist seizing control of her narrative.
Conceptualised by Nelson, co-written by Nelson, and reflecting on her painful break-up, it also comes packaged with a guest-heavy reimagining of Diddy’s original 2001 video for Bad Boys For Life, with the updated version co-directed by – you guessed it – Jesy Nelson.
“The thought of giving it to someone and it being their vision and not mine really scares me,” she says of the video, but also of her entire solo project. “I want to start as I mean to go on.”
For the past decade, Jesy Nelson has been a pop pioneer, often unafraid to speak her mind in an increasingly media trained music world. From the start of her Little Mix career she was open and honest about her mental health and the effects of online bullying, going on to win a National Television Award for 2019’s searing BBC Three doc, Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out. When the world was plunged into lockdown last year, Nelson had time to reflect and sit with some of those emotions, specifically a feeling she hadn’t spent time within a while.
“I went into lockdown and it was the happiest I’d ever been, and I know that sounds bad because it was a terrible time for so many people, but for me, I realised a lot about myself,” she says carefully. “Then I went back to work after lockdown and I was really miserable. I don’t think anyone realises the amount of pressure there is being in a girl band.” The work involved a video shoot for Little Mix’s Sweet Melody (it later peaked at number 1, representing a fitting end to Nelson’s decade-long tenure), complete with high octane dancing and tight outfits. “I gained a bit of weight in lockdown and then we had to do the video, and I got in such a state. I gear myself up for what people are going to say about me, and then when the video came out it was ‘Jesy’s put on weight’. Mentally I got myself in a really dark place.”
In the end, it was Nelson’s mum who suggested it was time to leave a band whose career highs had brought Nelson so much joy. “I’m SO proud of what we achieved,” she smiles. “If I hadn’t been in Little Mix I wouldn’t have the platform I have now to do my solo stuff. I’m so incredibly grateful.” But she also knew things had to change. On 14 December 2020, Nelson posted a statement on her social media announcing that after six albums in nine years, she had left Little Mix. “It sounds quite dramatic but I didn’t realise what it felt like to be truly truly happy until I left,” she says. “I was like ‘wow, I can’t believe this is what I always should have felt like. I didn’t realise how sad I was…There comes a point where you have to put yourself first.”
While her statement (liked over 2m times on Instagram) talked eloquently about her reasons for leaving, there was still confusion. “I saw comments from people saying ‘you’re faking your mental health thing, you just left because you wanted to go solo’. I never ever said in my statement that I’m not coming back into the public eye. I literally said ‘I’m coming out of Little Mix because I can’t deal with the pressure of being in a girl band and I want to focus on myself and do what I love’. Which is still creating music.” In fact, initially, there were no grand plans for her post-Little Mix future at all. As the days and weeks went by, however, Nelson found herself drawn back to music. “I have a tattoo that says ‘music is the strongest form of magic’ and it genuinely is. It’s so powerful. Music can take me out of the shittiest moods. It got me through how I was feeling.”
A well-timed text from Loose Change, AKA producers Patrick Jordan Patrikos and Sunny, who Nelson had worked within Little Mix, regarding some studio time arrived at the perfect moment. But again there were no grand solo plans, with Nelson initially assuming being back in the studio would trigger some of her old feelings of inadequacy. “The guys were like ‘do you just want to come into the studio and have some fun, maybe write for other people’.
Then Boyz was the first song we wrote. I was so excited. I didn’t expect it at all because I didn’t realise I loved songwriting. So I started going in even more.” She also got to showcase a voice the world has only heard a fraction of so far. “The producers were like ‘Jesy we did not know you could sing like this – would you want to go solo?’ It was a really scary thought because I’ve had Jade, Perrie and Leigh-Anne with me for ten years. To have your best mates onstage with you and have their support 24/7, it’s like they’re my right arm. But because I’m doing music that I love it’s not as scary. It’s fun.” She takes a deep breath and smiles again, something she does a lot now.
“It’s so weird but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I really feel like this is what was supposed to happen. It’s mad that the first session I went into is where my debut solo single was written.”
A punch to the solar plexus, Boyz – released via Polydor, who she signed to in May this year – doesn’t just announce itself, it kicks the doors in like it owns the place. As with a number of songs still to come, it was inspired by a devastating breakup, with Nelson musing on why she’s drawn to men who seemingly “treat me like shit”. “All my exes before the last one have been so lovely, but [the relationships are] so short-lived because I get bored.
Then I met my ex and it was the first time I’d been kept on my toes. It was a really weird experience for me and I got absolutely heartbroken. It was awful. I never want to experience that ever again.” A late-night period of sitting in her feelings got her thinking about “’Why do I like bad boys, what is wrong with me? Why am I attracted to anyone that looks naughty?’ So I messaged the guys and was like ‘you’ll think I’m a nutter but I really want to write a song about why most women like bad boys and I want to use the P Diddy song’ and they were like ‘let’s do it’.”
With work continuing on that album with Loose Change, and songwriters Abby Keen, Canadian duo Heartbeat and Dyo, there’s also been time to explore personal themes away from heartache. Nelson teases one “very dark” song that sounds like Billie Eilish and samples a mid-90s pure pop classic. While another track (title TBC), is billed as “powerful” and “the kind of song I’d want to perform at the Brits”.
In fact, so much of 2021 has been about exploration and experimentation. Of taking her time to work out who Jesy Nelson really is. “I just want to be myself and be real,” she says. “I want my fans to hear that they’re my stories because they genuinely are. No one has come in and told me what to write about. This is the music I’ve always wanted to make.” Solo superstardom suits her.