When you’ve been in a relationship for many years, there’s a certain point in both of your lives where it will feel like this whole bond between them feels like you’re doing it out of habit and not out of love. At times certain things might seem more of a routine and you might have difficulties trying to maintain that excitement. You would be split between wanting to stay and work things out and wanting to walk away from it all but I’m telling you, it’s not that easy. If there’s a possibility that the two of you would be able to work it out, then you should.
Some might say time is irrelevant; what counts is how you feel about each other. But what if you think you’re losing interest in your partner when in fact you’re not? What if you pulled the plug too soon when you shouldn’t have done it in the first place? Do you think you can actually live with that decision?
Sure, there are plenty of fishes in the sea, but you never know what can happen. What if the person you’re supposed to be with is already in your life? Do you think you’ll be able to live with the idea that you let the relationship end over something petty?
‘Cause, believe me, I know how that feels, and it’s a shitty feeling. I regret it deeply and god forbid, it’s a feeling I never want to experience again.
I’m not saying that every couple goes through this situation but if you have experienced it as I did, then you’re not alone. In fact, it’s actually normal.
You can’t even fathom the danger of comparing your relationship to others and that’s one of the biggest mistakes people make. Because at the end of the day, this is your relationship and only you would know what can and cannot work for the two of you.
So with that said, how can you actually keep your love alive?
Date nights are more important for your relationship than you actually think
Instead of ignoring or postponing date nights, trust me you’ll actually be glad you went out together. When’s the last time the two of you dressed up and went on dates to impress your partner? When’s the last time the two of you flirted? Think.
Key to sustaining a happy and healthy relationship is all about the effort, managing the unexpected, and the element of surprise. As time passes, we tend to forget about those date nights and instead settle for a night of watching a show together. Repeat after me, it is not the same! That’s a habit, that’s something the two of you do together to spend time. That’s expected.
Instead of typical wine and dine, why don’t you try something different instead? Take up painting lessons or have a Masterchef cook-off (since we are in a pandemic, after all). The sky’s the limit; what matters is that you both put in a bit extra effort in advance to make each other happy and surprised.
Don’t get too comfortable, step of your comfort zone
Stop depending on things that you already know. Try something different. Not only is it vital for your bond but it works best for both your sanity and personal growth. Stop getting too comfortable by living on a cruise mode, the whole way. Take up risks and do something together that you have never done before. Things will start looking a lot better when you actually try.
Create clear communication
We all expect that our partners would be able to comprehend us without saying anything since they know us better than anybody else. The fact is that you will never be able to read someone’s mind, no matter how well you know them. Many difficulties that had been stacking up may be resolved if there was a safe area for talking and sharing them.
As a result, the likelihood of unsolved conflicts, passive hostility, and overall relationship discontent will be reduced. Furthermore, you may convey your desires to your partner (whether they are for dates, gifts, activities, intimacy, or anything else) so that they may take steps to make those desires a reality. In exchange, you should do the same.
It’s the small things that matter
Our lives are made up of insignificant events and actions. You might do simple things on a regular basis to feel closer and more connected to your mate to rekindle that love and admiration in your relationship. Avoid using your phones when conversing with one another and instead maintain eye contact. When you have the opportunity, kiss and hug each other. Relationships benefit greatly from physical contact.
Gratitude and appreciation for your partner’s efforts should be expressed. Learn to communicate in their love language so you can make them feel really appreciated.
Always keep in mind that, though love is an emotion that comes to us unexpectedly, it is one that requires time and effort to preserve. Take the initiative to rekindle the “flame,” and your spouse will follow. The collaborative effort will foster the transformation in your relationship that you both require.