Strangers can become best friends just as easily as best friends can become strangers.
Growing up, we generally assume that having a big group of friends is essential to an active social life but we were dead wrong. Look, I’m always down to having a good time with them. Though as time passes, you tend to realize that it’s not the number of friends that you have is important but it’s the significance of a real friendship.
The more, the merrier? Scratch that. I want friends who are like my actual family. Friends who I can count on. Friends who will still stand by me even when we are all arguing. That’s what friendship is all about.
I had my fair share of friends who came and went from my life. Some I was grateful for and some I wish not to see ever again. They say that people come into your life for a reason and that’s so true. Friends are here to teach you a lesson, to help you grow to become a better individual and to teach you that not all friends are alike. Truth is friends who you knew since you were a kid may not be like family to you but friends whom you have just met, can be and that says a lot.
Deep down, I appreciate those who came and left. I learned, I grew and I certainly would not want to repeat the same mistakes again. But what happens when the ones that were family to you, leaves? Honestly, it feels worse than a breakup and that just sucks. These girls meant the whole world to me and until today, I pray for their happiness and wish them nothing but the best. Of course, I do wish things to go back to the way it was but deep down, you just know it’s never going to.
They were one of the very few people I could trust with my life. But I guess, that was then and this is now.
It has been more than two years since we broke up and ever since that situation at the parking lot, I just wish I can remove that painful memory from my mind. At the time I needed my girls the most, they deserted me. Left me all alone in the dark to deal with my own demons. Where was my family when I needed them? I needed you and you knew that.
When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside. I lay in tears in bed all night, alone without you by my side. But if you loved me, why did you leave me?
To Bee, you were the first friend that made me realise my worth and how big the world is out there. You taught me strength, patience and love. You were always there for me whenever I needed you and we were inseparable. Even when I went missing for six months, you never stopped checking in on me and making sure I was doing alright despite me pushing you away. You made me move on from the worst heartbreak of my life and you made me be open to loving again. You showed me what it’s like to have a family, to have a sister that I can always count on and for that, I am absolutely grateful to you. Internship was crazy fun because I had my best friends with me and that’s one of the first few memories I have with you that I cherish deeply. But that last memory I had of you telling Wanie to let me go was hard to forget and having visions of that still breaks my heart. Till this day, I can never forget that night. You barely said a word to me. You barely looked at me. You just walked away from me and all I wanted was your love and support despite you disagreeing to what I was about to do. I may have hurt you but I got hurt too. I’m so heartbroken because if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have had the guts to do what I should have done a long time ago. Despite all that Bee, I will forever cherish the love, the bond and the friendship we had. You were my family and no matter what, I will always be here if you need me.
To Wanie, I love you beyond words and seeing you that day after so long just makes me so upset. It shouldn’t be that way and I can’t even see you without crying, I had to leave the restaurant immediately. The pain is still fresh to me even though we have gone our separate ways two years ago. You’re one of the reasons why I’m the person that I am today. We have gone through so much and it has become a lesson for both of us. I love it how we can always be who we are with each other without having to filter the real us. I love the dynamic that we both have. But going back to that night where the two of us were just screaming at each other, that completely broke me. I needed you to listen to me. I needed you to know how I felt and all I wanted was for you to just be there for me, even though you girls didn’t want me to go ahead with the plan. It was something I needed to do for myself. I needed to grow. I needed to leave a toxic environment. I took your advice and finally was ready to walk away. But instead, you left me standing all on my own without any support. I’m sorry for how things ended between us. It wasn’t right, it shouldn’t have gone that way but it did. We have so many good memories with each other but after all that we have been through, I wish nothing but the best for you. I’ll be cheering for you and the girls from afar, always. I know nothing can fix this but I just needed you to know this. If only there’s a way. Thank you for everything, I know that I will cherish every moment, every memory we have with each other.
I love you both very much. But this is me saying goodbye. For good, this time.
Signing off, Bob.
Pictures by Designecologist, Priscilla Du Preez, Simon Maage & Pinterest