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How to move on from the love of your life

by Grace Sundram

The saddest part of life is saying goodbye to someone you wish to spend your life with.

Do you know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep at night and feel that deep pain in your chest as if your heart is breaking into a million pieces and there’s just nothing you can do about it? You tell yourself you are going to be alright but deep down, you know that isn’t true.


How do you move on from a life-changing love? How do you go from having someone you knew in your heart you were going to spend the rest of your life with to going back to being strangers? Do you know what it’s like to miss someone so bad that you just don’t know how to live a life without them anymore?


Honestly, it was a privilege to have had the chance to experience love like that. To love someone with all my heart. To have been part of something so beautiful. To have created memories that I will forever cherish. To have had experienced what a real family was like. 

It’s not easy to move on when a part of you now doesn’t exist anymore. Numb and scarred, that’s what you get at the end. Love is certainly a beautiful thing. However, when it doesn’t work out, it can be the most painful experience to go through.


Love is addictive. Once you’ve had a taste of it, that’s all you can think about. Because at that moment, love was the only thing that mattered to you. But once it’s gone, you go through withdrawal and would do anything to feel that rush again. The feeling gets worse if you don’t have a proper support system on your side.

So how do you tell yourself to stop? How do you find the courage to pick yourself up and say enough is enough and move on?

When the pain is still fresh, it’s quite impossible to tell yourself to stop. It certainly won’t happen after a day or two and may take as long as six months to a year, or even more. The grieving process is the worst.


Loving someone enough to let them go and actually being able to let them go is two very different things.

Letting go of someone you are still very much in love with, may be a choice to save yourself from getting hurt again. But it’s the uncertainty of doing so and not knowing if you will ever experience that type of love again. Saying you want to break up is easy but it’s the period of emotionally letting go of them is what hurts you the most.


They say not to make a rash decision when you’re upset because it may lead to regret. Yet come to think about it, even if the two of you do patch things up, how confident are you that you’re never going to go through the agony again? What if the two of you were going through circles and have no clue on how to fix the relationship? What if things get worse and you two can never forgive each other again? Also, how do you trust someone after you’ve been hurt?


All these questions and thoughts are going to end up pulling one of you away, and you’re going to be at the tipping point of saying enough. No matter how much effort you put into making the relationship work, if there’s no trust and honesty between the two of you, then what’s the use of it?


Well, honestly, the only answer to this question is that you can only move on when it’s time. You can only move on when you’re ready to let the other person go wholeheartedly. It will be a painful process, but as time goes by, you will tend to distract or surround yourself with happiness and that will eventually help lessen the pain. Time doesn’t heal wounds as they all say, it all depends on what you do with it.


You ‘re definitely going to face more hurdles during the healing process, but you should know healing isn’t meant to be pretty. Not going to lie, every song, every movie, even from the sound of their name will always remind you of them. And you can never run away from it. Nevertheless, you will slowly learn to let go. ‘Cause when that happens, you will build yourself back up and be a better version for yourself and not for the people around you.

Pictures by Nikita Gill, Camille Witt, Jacqueline Mikuta, Jessica Janae Photography, Tumblr, Heidi Priebe, John Schnobrich, Allan Filipe Santos Dias & Annette Sousa

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