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What is Your Five Languages of Love?

by Natasha Christopher

LOVE. A word that invokes many feelings and emotions within an individual. The term “love makes the world go round” certainly sums up the only thing we need in this world that is enraged with violence and hate.


In this contemporary world, being in a relationship or getting married seems like the ideal goal. That also can save you from tons of nagging or advice from your relatives who desperately want to marry you off to someone. However, maintaining a relationship is another hard work and full-on commitment. With Valentine’s Day coming in less than a month, it is important to know what is your main love languages. Gary Chapman is the main author of the book called The Five Love Languages. He shares his insight into why it’s a priority for someone to know what is their main love languages are and learn to utilise it with themselves and their other half.


1. Words of Affirmation

Especially in a relationship, words can go a long way. It can either make you fall in love with that person even more or you may just end up hurting them. The brief description of this is basically expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation. Don’t you just like it when your other half compliments you? For example, “that is such a beautiful dress you have!”, “I am so proud of you”, “I really like how you’re always on time to pick me up at work.”, or “You can always make me laugh”. Within that language, however, there are many dialects. All of the dialects have in common the use of words to affirm one’s spouse. Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Words of affirmation will meet that need in many individuals.


2. Quality Time 

By quality time, it doesn’t mean just sitting in front of the television together and it’s called spending time. Rather, it is more of expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention. You can sit on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, devices put away, giving each other your undivided attention. It means taking a walk, just the two of you, or going out to eat and looking at each other and talking. Time is a precious commodity. We all have multiple demands on our time, yet each of us has the exact same hours in a day. You can make the most of those hours by committing some of them to your partners.


3. Receiving Gifts 

Who doesn’t love receiving gifts from your loved ones, right? Well, there are some people who prefer love to be shown through gifting. A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or, “She remembered me.” You must be thinking of someone to give him or her a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter whether it costs money. The term “the thought that counts” certainly fits right well in here.  If your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts, you can become a proficient gift giver. In fact, it is one of the easiest love languages to learn according to Chapman.


4. Acts of Service 

By acts of service, you do things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please her by serving her, to express your love for her by doing things for her. For example,  cooking a meal, setting a table, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming, changing the baby’s diaper, picking up a prescription, keeping the car in operating condition – they are all acts of service. If these services are being done genuinely,  they are indeed expressions of love.This love language requires a lot of time, effort, an planning. If your spouse’s love language is acts of service, then “actions speak louder than words.”


5. Physical Touch 

Through various studies, touching can be a huge love expression for babies. Babies who are held, stroked and kissed develop a healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. This is a powerful indicator of love. Whether if it’s holding hands,  kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse, are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. If your spouse’s love language is primarily physical touch, its good to show affection through that way.  Without it, they feel unloved. With it, their emotional tank is filled, and they feel secure in the love of their spouse.

If you are unsure about your love languages, try discovering here at this link.

Share with us, what is your love language?





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