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My 2Cents: What Does the GoT Virgin Have to Say?

by Anna Yuu

I don’t watch Game of Thrones, and probably never will. Before some hardcore fans scream bloody murder, let me tell you why. I am aware Game of Thrones is undoubtedly one of the most popular television series around, with it entering its seventh instalment.

There was a huge buzz and excitement from everyone over the Internet waiting for its return last Monday. During my Sunday night out with friends, GoT was the ONLY topic on the table. Their predictions on what would happen, or what they wish would happen, and the constant nagging that I should catch up… but what is there to catch up on when I’ve never watched it in the first place?

Their reaction upon realising I’m a GoT virgin:

GoT shockedThey finally left me alone when it came out. “That was it,” I thought in relief, but nooooo I was bombarded again a day later by incessant urging, pleading, and begging for me to get onboard the GoT train, and when I refused, they gave me this look:

Got Annoyed gifAt this point, I was convinced they would tie me to the couch, force my eyes open with toothpicks, and make me watch the whole thing from the beginning.

I received many questions, why won’t I watch it? Why the zero interest? Why why WHY?

First, I’ll let you in what little knowledge I have on the series. Mind you, this is purely based on conversations I’ve heard around me for the past few years.

Apparently, Jon Snow knows nothing (hey, sounds like me!) and seems to be highly concerned that winter is coming, Danaerys (or is it Cersei?) is a totting mother-figure to dragons, everyone cheers when Tyrion, a badass playboy midget slaps the spoilt little prick kid-prince whose name I can’t remember, and Ed Sheeran appears somewhere in the series.

Ed Sheeran GoT

How I imagine he would appear in GoT (I have no idea how it actually was)

Hey, I like Ed, but that fact alone doesn’t generate enough interest for me to finally watch GoT. There are so many reasons why I’m not interested, and here are some:

Fantasy bores me

I love science fiction, but I loathe its most natural counterpart; fantasy. While Harry Potter might have been a big influence on me growing up, Lord of The Rings didn’t faze me, and neither did The Hobbit. Perhaps it’s the feudal political settings that put me off.

The conquest and fight for powers has always been the premise for many feudal fantasy productions, like King Arthur, 300, Percy Jackson, and I honestly thought they were decent films. But a six year running series based wholly on political fights? We have the Parliament for that, so I’ll pass.

ukraine parliament fight

This is highly entertaining

Gore and rape make me cringe

I’m a fan of horror, be it films or games. I follow James Wan’s works like a hungry hound, and I played all the Fatal Frame and Silent Hill games on the PlayStation. Back in those days, the low resolution made things 10 times scarier than it actually is, so I know I’m legit.

Turning Around Zombie Resident Evil

The first encounter in Resident Evil 1 still haunts me to this day

Gore, on the other hand, is an absolute no-no for me. I would grit my teeth until my jaws hurt whenever a particularly gory scene appears in thriller-horror films, and I was once tricked into watching Happy Tree Friends I couldn’t finish an episode (Google it if you don’t already know the cartoon. It’s really…cute)! So, tell me how is it possible for me to bear watching brutal torture and violent rape for… the plot?

So much nudity!

No, I’m not a narrow-minded conservative, right wing extremist. If I crave for nude men (and women) onscreen, there’s porn for that. I get that some scenes are crucial to the plot progress, but I just don’t think it’s necessary to show how they actually do it. Just the thought of watching the scenes with other people in the same room makes me incredibly queasy, I can’t imagine how do you even — uh, no, thanks.

You can quit trying to entice me, the answer will still be no. Instead of berating on me for being lame, why not have a listen to this fanmade video of Game of Thrones’ characters ‘singing’ to Shape of You? Now this is something I can enjoy.

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