I was going through articles after articles on chivalry and most, if not all topics suggest on how A MAN can do to ensure the woman thinks that it’s not dead. To be fired up and not voice my opinion regarding this matter is an understatement. Using my platform here as a writer, it’s solely my opinion to let you know how I feel about it and hopefully come to an understanding together. Even if you have different views on this, I won’t turn down your opinion but rather have a mutual respect for each other for having a say of your own. I personally feel that most women nowadays need to step up in their “make the first move” game.
Nobody can be as confident as Brooklyn 99’s Gina Linetti!
There is just a number of ladies that I’ve come across that expects ONLY the man to start the first move and if they don’t, they seem a coward. In my opinion, not everyone can be as confident as they like, especially if they think you’re an attractive girl. To be honest, when I was a teenager, I always had this thought that a man needs to come up to me first. As time goes by, I learned that we are living in the 21st century and chivalry needs to apply both man and woman equally.
A few of my guy friends agree that they find it attractive that a girl was to start a conversation first with them and some even go to say that’s a major turn on.
When it comes to myself, I love to compliment a man even if I know him or not. Well, why not? If a man can have the courage to compliment a girl with the risk of getting rejected by some, why don’t I go through the same effort that they are putting in? Besides, it’s not really flirting when you’re just telling them the truth. A simple thank you will do. Simple gestures you can do like holding the door for people, and sending messages to your date that they get back home safely goes a long way coming from both parties.
I am known by my friends to tell a guy straightforward that they are good looking. Most of the time, they’ll give a shocked or blushed look or rather feel intimidated by me. The reason why most males are reacting towards this is that they are not accustomed to a girl approaching them. Men need to feel like it’s normal if a girl comes up to them and make the first move instead of that action from a girl is bruising their ego.
The amount of s**t I’ve been hearing from girls on how “men are so scared to make the first move, and they don’t do this that…etc”, well for starters, how about female starts first? After all, many of us are fighting for women’s equality. Why not be the change for once? You’ll never know how it’ll reward you. Besides that, some girls are even upset a guy didn’t text or talk to them and so they gave up hope on romance. Sounds pretty unfair now, don’t you think? If you want romance to happen first, you got to take by its hand and just do it. You sit down and shake your legs, obviously ain’t nothing gonna happen. This may be a cold truth to digest but it needs to be done.
Same goes for an online dating app. According to a new survey by dating site OkCupid, women who make the first move increase their chances of dating more attractive men. The study found that when a woman contacts a man first, 30 per cent of those messages turns into a conversation. Women are 2.5 times more likely to get a response than men are when they initiate contact.
Of course, if a man wants to approach you first, there is certainly nothing wrong in that, my point being is the fact that the perception of how only a man needs to do all the work for the starting part needs to scrape off. It’s going to be an everlasting cycle of pressuring guys when we as women can step up first too.
Be that as it may, I’ve always believed men should be given more credit than they should when it comes to tackling a person they like. When I started adapting to how much of effort they put in, wow, it was never an easy thing for me but I’m glad I stepped up because I feel empowered that I can do what my heart set out to be. Hope this piece inspires you to be the change and for some, who needs to practice what they preach. Peace!